Do You Have the Right Christ?

Click here to edit subtitle

Rebellion, Depression and Suicide

Suicide is on the rise in America and around the world. It didn't used to be a problem because the Bible says in Ephesians 5:29 "“For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it", so that makes me believe that no matter how tough life was back in the Bible days, and we know it was pretty bad, people had a will to live. We even see that will to live in the animal kingdom, they will fight with a predator with all of their might, or flee at high speeds for as long as they can, or even use their brains to hide somewhere their enemy won't find them. They do everything to live but now we are seeing generations of human beings with the will to destroy themselves either slowly or they opt to leave this world with one direct blow to themselves, believing dying will end their pain.

This is such a huge subject that I am going to bring up one aspect of it at a time. First I will speak to rebellion.. . .. rebellion against God in particular since I believe this starts the ball rolling down to depression and suicide.. Some families are riddled with rebellion against God from the parent level down, even if the parents attend church. I say this because church attendance does not save a person and because some "Christians" do not live out their faith during the week. In other families, the parents may not be in rebellion to God's Word, they do live the Gospel as best as they can throughout each week, but their kids get it anyway from Hollywood's influence in the world (even if their kids don't see Hollywood films, they will pick up the attitude of rebellion from other kids in public school) and even from what they are taught in school!

The school systems went to Darwinism in 1987 and so children have been taught to believe they are independent of a creator God. This is rebellion against God's Word which clearly teaches a 7 day creation of everything here on Earth, including man and woman. (Genesis chapter 1) And so this rebellion gets into each individual student in some deep foundational way and it wreaks havoc with their identity. And rebellion against God's Word allows room for the devil to move in and take over these kids (and parents, but I want to focus on youth for this piece) thoughts and actions in ways that they will not be able to or even want to stop. Rebellion seems to offer freedom so kids will not want to stop feeling rebellious. But rebellion, as freeing and powerful as it feels, leads to anger and aggression and if a person does not have anywhere to put that energy, say like sports, they will internalize it or act out against family or society. Internalizing it will eventually cause it to come out in a bad way, often times in violence against others or one's self.  We will cover suicide later but let's look at the product of rebellion in an outward form to others.  We have seen kids shoot up schools like at Columbine and we know our juvenille centers are full, as are prisons for crimes of all sorts.  In jail the cycle of violence continues because of the gangs inside jails. What hope does our youth have then? Only the same hope that any other child has, to find a true relationship with the living God through faith in Christ Jesus. The only difference between kids in jail and those out in the world (doing all of the things they want to do), is those in jail know they are in trouble. Kids living in our entertainment driven world do not know they are in trouble, or if they do, that concern is squelched by the next fast action movie or video game they take in.

Please view this documentary to see how Hollywood is destroying lives with action pictures full of violence.

And also please watch this documentary to see how Science Fiction movies and comic books are destroying kids minds:

(Video games are no different than Hollywood movies and comic books as far as subject matter, make-believe situations full of violence, so I won't post anything on that but you should google it and see the dangers for yourselves.)

Sometimes under the influence of rebellion, kids go full force into all that the world has to offer, being a bad influence on others, such as the young Disney stars, Miley Cyrus being one of them. Miley's parents claim to be Christian but there is no such evidence of their salvation in their lives. I find it hypocritical of them to say they are worried about her when they did nothing to protect her from the devil when she was young such as take her to a Bible-based church every Sunday and keep her out of Hollywood. But let's take a look at another huge pop star, maybe the biggest one out there right now, Katy Perry and her family beginning and her current life. This will lead us into the next point of this piece too, because she says in one article that she dealt with depression as a teenager. I intend to show the rebellion in her parents (even though they are self-proclaimed ministers for Jesus Christ) carried over into her life, first in the form of depression and then when she found her own voice of rebellion, she is currently living it out loud before the world.

Let's take a look first at this video clip where Katy Perry says she sold herself to the devil to get all of the "good things" she has in this life because some reading this may not think there is any problem with Katy Perry's career. If you are a fan of hers, I pray you will continue to read and go to some of the links I will be sharing because it will not end well with her, nor will it end well with all of her followers.

Katy Perry's parents are Keith and Mary Hudson, "Christian Evangelists" who have been in ministry together for 35 years. That sounds good right? Well, I thought so too until I saw a picture of Keith Hudson and he looked more like a follower of Anton LaVey, the creator of Satanism rather than a man of God! See for yourself what Anton LaVey looks like: and now Keith Hudson:

Keith Hudson's image made me dig around for more information on Katy's parents and their ministry. Here is their website if you would like to view their work: From what I have gathered from several articles on them, they are former hippies turned Pentecostal preachers and they have a ministry home in California. So they are in the most liberal denomination (and it might be worse than that, one source said he started a New Age Gospel, another calls it a "unique Gospel) and they live in one of the most liberal states in the United States. They are even quoted as saying in one article that they have fashioned themselves on purpose to be non-traditional Christian ministers. This is very typical of Californians, I know, I used to live there, and it's all about being cool and not being stuck in the boring simple life the rest of America lives, especially not the Bible-belt Americans!

I had initially read somewhere that Keith Hudson had called his daughter a "devil daughter" because of her singing career so at first I thought they were legitimately concerned for their daughter's well-being but then I saw a picture after picture of her parents standing with Katy smiling for the camera at many Hollywood events. There is even one where the father is smiling while she is with her then-husband Russell Brand, who has very foul language, does filthy movies, is a Hindu, admits to having been a heroine addict and having slept with a thousand women! As a Christian preacher he should be concerned about this marriage but instead he says he loves Russell and he attends events just with Russell. You can see all of the pictures here:

Then I began to see articles saying her dad is profiting off of his daughter's career. He denies it but the facts speak for themselves. Here are some articles on this subject: and

Well, as the articles say, the more money that comes her dad's way from Katy's career, the more he approves of her career. Her dad now says he is proud of Katy professionally but if he is truly a Christian preacher how can he not see the absolute spiritual danger his daughter is in, (not to mention all of her followers) when she performs in witchcraft outfits and presentations shown here:

Katy Perry said she found relief in the Bible when she was dealing with depression as a 15 year old, but what she garnered from the verse in Psalms was that she would have to change her attitude and find things to be happy about before she could be happy. That is not what the Bible teaches at all! The Bible doesn't teach on happiness, it teaches about joy. There is a difference. Happiness is good feelings because of something fun or inviting happening currently in one's life. Joy is a supernatural gift from God that can be there even in bad times. All she did was apply pop psychology to the verse in Psalms she read and then she went out into the world to find things to make her happy. But it looks like she had to sell her soul to the devil in order to bring things into her life that made her happy. The Bible truly preached to her in the beginning by her parents would've helped her to navigate the Psalms better as a teenager. Unfortunately it appears she didn't get that good solid Bible teaching she so needed.

So, how does one deal with depression if they don't go all out for the happenings and material blessings of the world? It is through repentance and prayer to God for healing where we've been wronged. If we are depressed, it is because we are either currently in a state of mind that is out of line with what Scripture teaches or we have not forgiven others who have hurt us or we have not let God heal us where we have pain. It can be a combination of all three things too.

Let's look at being in line with God's Word. We have to be honest with ourselves that if our parents were not good Bible-based Christians, then we did not learn how to be that either. We need to be willing to let go of our upbringing that was outside of God's teachings and get in-line with it by reading the Word and making conscious decisions to apply it as best as we can. This will take repentance to God as we read our Bible and we learn where we have been wrong in our lives. God is merciful to forgive and you can ask the Holy Spirit to strengthen you in your walk going forward. Next we have to realize that forgiving someone is a choice but it is also a commandment God gives us. Matthew 6:14-15 says: For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you:But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. If you want to be obedient to God's Word, you can just pray to God a prayer that says you want to be obedient to Him and so you choose to forgive whoever hurt you. You can then ask Him to help you get over the emotional baggage from the situation because the emotional part will take longer than your confession of forgiveness. Your emotions will come back now and again and you will at those times need to ask God to help you heal your emotions you are feeling because you do choose to still forgive that person. (I am aware some people's pain from past hurts is immense but God is faithful if you bring all of your tears and emotions to Him each and every time you fall under their attack!)  Lastly, people who have been hurt a lot sometimes have walls built up in their soul that they don't even know about. They may have made a subconscious decision to never trust anyone again, or not take help from anyone ever again. If they have, they will have most likely extended that to God without even knowing it. Or maybe they know they are mad at God and don't trust Him anymore.  This will need to be repented of because God did not abandon you just because He did not rescue you the way you wanted Him to.  No, your proof of His love is at Calvary - Jesus suffered in this evil world, when He didn't have to, to reach out to you and make a way for you to come and live with God in the Kingdom of God, where there will be no more tears!  You will have to learn to trust Him that though this world is not fair and it is evil, He will answer all of your questions someday in heaven and He will help you through each day until you get there.  But you will also have to dismantle a few things like anger, mistrust and you may have developed a controlling personality to where you don't let anything slip outside of your control.  If you control everything then you can't get mad at God when things go wrong and if you don't let Him help you because of fear of trusting someone else again, who may let you down, then you are tying God's hands. I know none of this is easy for someone who has been sexually or physically abused or neglected as a child, so If you are one of those people I would suggest you listen to the Word of God on Bible CD while you sleep so that God can soften and comfort your heart and even reveal the things that are in your heart, slowly but surely.

Sometimes depressed people find it hard to even attend church because everyone there seems so happy and pulled together. Or they feel the pastor is too boisterous and enthusiastic for them. It turns them off and even makes them mad to listen to him and be in church. So that is why I suggest the Bible on CD and reading your Bible yourself and listening to sermons online that are in the type of voice and delivery you feel comfortable with. (Just pray for guidance on which preachers are safe to listen to.) You most likely would like someone who speaks softly and teaches kindly versus someone who is overly loud, enthusiastic or comical in their delivery. It may take time for you to pull out of the depression because some people have been raised in multi-levels of it and so you will be having to retrain your way of thinking and responding emotionally to people and things in life. But God is faithful and He will help you through it by His Word and His Holy Spirit's help.

For those who don't take the proactive steps I have just listed out, there is a very real temptation for people to commit suicide. That is because not only does a person have their own issues from their birth family to their marriage/divorce(s) to work relationships to financial situations etc. but as shown in the videos above, the entertainment world we live in gives us very bad messages about life too. The violence, the overt sex scenes, the bad people being lifted up as role models, the confusion of homosexual love scenes and all of the drugs, alcohol and cigarettes we see in films and television sends destructive messages into our brains. We can be overwhelmed in life just trying to process all of the stimuli we take in and all of the conflictory information can really wear a person down. It is no wonder people are addicted to caffeine through coffee and sodas just to get through each day with all of its problems and all of the disturbing information we have to process in our souls that we've decided was "entertainment".

Suicide can be a subtle thing, the person doesn't even know they have suicidal tendencies, such as some people drink themselves to death. I was going to be that kind of person. It was all fun and games getting drunk the first 30 years of my life but then I began to realize that I was leaning on alcohol to cope with life and that it actually caused me to be more depressed while under the influence, (if I wasn't around others partying). God is the one who asked me to give up drinking for Him about a year after I started going to church (you can read my testimony page 2) and I agreed to obey His request and told Him I would need His help to do so. He miraculously took the desire away from me and I haven't drank in 19 years! But that is not the only way I was suicidal and didn't know it. I also married a man who had violent tendencies when he was high. I didn't know about his drug usage or his violence before I married him but I will confess to you that even after I knew it, I was so addicted to him that I swore within myself that I loved him so much I would die for him!  Well, fortunately, when push came to shove, the pain of that marriage did cause me to think of myself before him and I filed for divorce. But I often wonder if women who keep getting into abusive relationships aren't subconsciously going for those types of men because they have a hidden desire to die young because they feel life is too painful to live out. I know my other relationships were not as dangerous as my marriage but I did feel they were abusive in demeaning ways, not violent ways. But if I had continued on in those type of relationships I would be a drunk by now for sure! So God definitely saved me in more ways that just spiritually when He revealed Himself to me so I could get born again and follow Christ and live a healthy life!

Another type of suicide is the ways we hear about more frequently, a person slits their wrists, or takes an overdose of prescription drugs, or they put a gun to their head. My 50 year old neighbor did the latter and I found out later that his brother had done the same thing a few years earlier. I don't know what the problem(s) were in his family but it is most definitely a very sad and disturbing thing to know someone killed themselves. We see celebrities who were comedians, like Robin Williams, commit suicide and we scratch our heads and ask why? He was laughing on the outside but on the inside it was a very different situation. People cannot handle this world without God! They think they can and they go onto live out very successful careers, but in the end the devil is stronger than any human being.

So, I will also suggest to you now something everyone needs to realize and that is suicide is a spiritual attack. The devil wants everyone dead and the sooner the better because if they aren't saved, he wants to prevent them from getting saved. Or if they are saved, he wants to stop their influence on others so they don't get others saved. The devil has attacked me as a Christian with a very real attack of suicide just in the last three years. I'll explain it to you, but want to make clear first that it is not me that is wanting to commit suicide anymore (unlike when I was unsaved and drinking myself into it) but it was an outward attack that hit me. I began to feel a "mid-life crisis" about three years ago because it dawned on me that my philosophy of how life was just going to keep getting better was no longer true in the sense that I had believed it before. See, I had believed I would always be young and attractive or at least age very beautifully and that I would keep making more and more money because of the experience I was gaining at all of my jobs and that I would remarry someday and it would be wonderful etc. But all of a sudden just after I turned 50, and because I worked with someone who is in her 70's and because my parents are now elderly, these overwhelming thoughts of depression started coming over me that the best years of my life were over! All I could see was how I am not looking as good as I had hoped I would age, and I may not be able to get a job with as good of pay as I get older (since a lot of companies want to hire young people out of college) and that I may not ever get married again and have the financial security of that like I had hoped. In fact I began to have health issues and there is a real threat of going into debt if I do get some serious health issue under the current bad state of America's healthcare system! So, all of a sudden things looked like they were all going downhill and I imagined that as I got older they would just seem worse and so the attack thickened. If I was not working side by side with someone 20 years older than me, maybe I wouldn't have felt all of this so strong, but I was now over 50 and so I did realize that I had hit the midpoint of my life and had not achieved as much as I had wanted and it was looking like all things were downhill now!

All of a sudden in this midlife depression that slipped over me, I began to see in my mind's eye my right hand lift up to the temple of my head in the form of a pretend gun and me pulling the trigger! This visual attack would come on me when I would get stressed at work or sometimes just out of nowhere and I would realize it wasn't me, it was the devil putting that image in my mind! But I certainly had to admit that I was in a depression and that I was being subliminally tempted to "just end it all now"!!!  I now understand why men act out during their mid-life crisis by marrying a younger woman - they are afraid of death!. Because I felt a very real presence of death during that time period and I did not like it but could do nothing to make that lift off of me!  It was like I was being threatened with death and all I could do is separate out the truth from the lie - the truth is I was feeling depressed but I would never commit suicide, so the feeling of death and image of shooting myself in the head were attacks from the devil!

The devil knows that I am geared to getting the Gospel message out as much as I can so I knew the devil was attacking me because I bring the message of life to others and I did find it ironic how he used the image of death that my neighbor used on himself, a gun to the head, to "tempt me"! The enemy can also make a person hear a voice, whether it be their own despairing voice rising up from their subconscious or a spirit's voice that is oppressing them, to tell them to commit suicide too. I never had voices telling me to "end it", just that image that I would see sometimes, but I know for some people the voices are very real.

All I can say to others who are under any of these forms of attack is, RUN to Jesus!!! If you have any distance between you and Jesus Christ, beg God to show you where you have distance yourself from the Gospel message or the person of Jesus and ask Him to help you get your thoughts and emotions in line with Scripture. The Bible says in James 4:7  "Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you."  What I had to realize is that my old philosophy of how things were always going to get better and better for me was not Scriptural and it set me up for my midlife depression. Once I began to look at my value to God no matter whether I have money or good health or good looks, the depression started to lift. I had had my eyes on people in the world who are younger or looked like they had more promise than what I had positioned myself for when I was younger and I had begun to start longing to go back and do life all over again. I had to confess that I was being greedy and worldly in my heart and I needed to repent of that and get back into listening to more sermons and reading my Bible more! I had to retrain my brain to get away from my fears that nothing good would ever take place in my life now that I was "old" and relearn God's definition of good rather than the world's definition of it. 

Fortunately the depression has lifted but it was a slow process so if you find yourself in that kind of a battle, take one day at a time and pray for wisdom and guidance each day so you can do the things that will build you up spiritually.  Limit your time in television and listen to hymns and the Word being read on CD and go outside and enjoy nature while you talk to God.  And pray often, I have found getting on my knees in prayer brings immediate peace that God has heard my prayers. Remember the devil is a liar and a thief and a destroyer but Christ came to bring you life and bring it to you more abundantly! (paraphrased from John 10:10) But that abundant life that Jesus is referring to is not the life that Katy Perry is living or that anyone with all of the good stuff is living, no it's a spiritual life of His presence which brings peace and a wholeness to your soul! And the promise of eternal life afterward! Remember, in Mark 8:36 it says "For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?" So, take your eyes off of what the world says "you have to have" or that "you have to be" and just seek God with all of your heart and He will restore you.

Suicide is not the answer - ever - so don't let the devil seduce you into believing there is a peace awaiting you if you "do yourself in". No, learn from the Bible that life is precious, even from conception, (In Jeremiah 1:5 God says: Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee, and I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations.) and that it is worth fighting for! You may only be experiencing the dark clouds of the storm now and the storm may seem way too long and too strong for you but remember, when you are weak, God is strong! 2 Corinthians 12:9 the Apostle Paul, (who suffered a lot for the sake of the Gospel) tells us God said unto him: My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

Your trial is going to come out victorious if you allow Jesus to take up your cause, let Him lead the fight you are in, and follow Him closely so you can hear His voice and feel his presence for strength. But also be aware that you may not hear His voice or sense His presence during the storm you are in but if not, you do have his Word and prayer and when you do your part, you will see little signs that He is working on your behalf. Every storm is different and in some he backs away so we learn to live by faith, I agree these are the hardest tests, but the sun will eventually come out if you stay faithful to pray it through! 

But fight, fight like you see the animals in the wild fight for their lives when an enemy comes to kill them. They don't give up so please don't give up either! Suicide is murder and murder is a sin against God. Some say it is forgivable but I am not so sure because when you are dead how can you repent of it? You can't! No, life is the gift you've been given now and while it might not seem like a gift, it is, because while you are alive, you can choose Christ because once you are dead, you cannot. Heaven is your real home, you are on a journey there, so don't mess up and live for this world more than you live for God, because this world will never satisfy you nor will it point you to God. Call out on the name of Jesus and be saved, both spiritually and from all attacks launched at you from the devil, especially suicide!

John 14:6 - Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.

Proverbs 3: 5-6: Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.

God bless you that you may stay out of the influences of the world and invest yourselves in the Word of God and reap rewards in heaven and for your soul now!  Choose LIFE!